Postgrad

I DID IT! I got into Queen's University, Belfast and I leave next month!

I have been waiting for this for months! It's been a long process, but totally worth it..

While I was waiting to hear back from Queen's about my unconditional status, I applied for the International Postgraduate Taught Scholars program, which would have covered my entire tuition. Now, while I wasn't successful in the Scholars application, they were impressed by my application and awarded me the International Postgraduate Taught Scholarship! Everything helps in cases like this! A stipulation of the scholarship is that I may be required to undertake ambassadorial duties from time to time while enrolled, but it'll be worth it! And kinda sweet to be an ambassador for my new university!

I even contacted the athletics club to see if I can join for the shot put event!

I cannot believe I'm finally gonna be studying animal behavior and welfare. It's gonna be fabulous. I started my visa application and have my biometrics appointment later this week. After that, I just wait to hear back about the visa. My flight to Ireland is in mid-September (I'll be visiting family for about a month prior) and it's all becoming so much more real than when I first began the process. I think I've even found an apartment near campus... More news on that later (send me mail, hehe). If you want my address, please send me a private message, as I will not be posting it publicly.

I would like to thank everyone who has supported and believed in me for so long now. And everyone who has told me to go after my dreams! I couldn't have done it without yall!

Also, I graduate next summer, so if you want to come visit plan a trip soon!

Check out these adorable videos to brighten your day! :D
http://www.petdoof.com/adorable-barking-kitten-video/
http://www.petdoof.com/puppy-allowed-on-bed-for-first-time-adorable/

<3 Much love <3

People are crazy

You know how the saying goes about how people are generally good? Yeah well, talking to my sister  awhile ago I realized that some people are just inherently shitty.... There are some people that you should just keep at a distance until they are capable of being treated the way you deserve. And while some of them cannot be kept out of your life completely because of familial ties and whatnot, that doesn't mean you have to interact with them more than necessary. Sometimes forcing the interactions just makes the relationship volatile. Just take things as they come and deal with what you can. If things get too overwhelming, then you have every right to step away until you feel like you can handle them again. Or even just leave them behind.

Children involved in divorces and separations usually wind up with a warped view of the world. They are so hurt by the things happening around them caused by their parents that they either retreat into themselves to save them from getting unnecessarily hurt or they lash out at everyone they perceive as a threat to their well-being. The problem with this is they don't always see things for what they are (I was definitely a victim of this for a very long time) because they are trying so hard to save themselves from pain that they are blinded to everything. I found that being less exposed to one parent can really change the way you see them, whether or not it's their fault. If they want to try to have a relationship, they should at least be afforded the opportunity, as long as the child is not in any danger (physically, emotionally, or mentally). However, once given the opportunity, they should not be allowed to walk all over the child just because they are Parent. I know that sometimes cutting off contact is the only way to get someone to realize they are not respecting you the way they should.

Some days it amazes me how one person can infect so many others with lies and hatred. I don't see how that's any way to live a happy life. I just can't quite grasp how some parents are able to rationalize the way they treat their children. But then again, maybe they just don't get it. I just know that I refuse to let myself get caught up in that warp because I don't want to be like that. Be true to yourself and do your best to not hurt others. If you know you are/were wrong, then at least know how to apologize, but do not let yourself get trampled in the process. There's a difference in apologizing because you're wrong and letting people run over you just to keep the relationship intact. There are times you just have to let things go because they aren't worth your well-being. People will either love you or not and if they aren't helping the relationship then maybe it's time to step away until they learn to appreciate you.

I guess I'm lucky in the way I've been privy to so many lifestyles and been exposed long enough that I've gotten to see how it all works out. I know exactly how I don't want to be in life, but that only narrows my choices to a few I won't choose. It doesn't really help me decide who I want to be in life. Although, avoiding who I don't want to be kinda helps me be the person I'd like to be in a roundabout kind of way. I just know that I want to be a good person, whatever that takes.

You know, I try really hard to be kind to everyone and like people for who they are, but some people make it really damn hard.... I'm a fiercely loyal person (I think that's something I get from the Ritter side of my family), so I really hate when people mess with my family and friends. It really bothers me when you do something just to hurt them. I also hate lying, so when I get asked a question it's really hard to not be super blunt about how I feel. Another thing, it's really unnecessary to the way I live. If I'm doing something I feel the need to hide, I probably just wouldn't bring it up, or I wouldn't do it in the first place....

Something people need to remember is that kids are sensitive to what is said about their parents. They are part of them and will be for their entire lives. Hell, I still get hurt by things said about my parents and I'm an adult... So try not to tell that kid you're talking to that his mom is such and such or her dad's a so and so.. Love the kid for who he or she is, don't judge because of the parents... 

On life, recently

A few days ago, I was walking across campus and it suddenly hit me: I am so lucky to have gotten to spend the last four years here, living and learning. Berkeley is a beautiful campus and a wonderful place to grow. It really pushes you to be better and more accepting of other views and beliefs. It grows you as a person, but only if you let it in to your mind and heart. Accept the guidance of others, even when it's hard, but never be afraid to let go of the things that don't push you to where you WANT to be in this life. You only get one shot, so do things that make you happy, healthy, and sane. Don't hold onto the negativity; it holds you back.

Living in the Bay Area, I got the chance to get closer to a part of my family who have done so much for me, even before they really knew me. They taught me a lot about our world and became truly wonderful role-models. My grandma taught me to be myself, even if no one likes it. If they love me, they'll accept me. But don't be an ass, no one likes that... There is an art to being yourself without being mean to people or being just plain rude about your beliefs. You should practice respect in all aspects, but especially in the art of disagreement. If you can respectfully disagree with people or beliefs, you'll get a lot farther in life. My great-grandma taught me a lot about loving someone whom you have absolutely no requirement to love, and how to do it without ever making that person feel like an outsider. My grandpa taught me how to be a better person by showing me how I don't want to be, which is not a bad thing, just a different outlook. There is always a way to get better and work on yourself. He also showed me how to look at the world and society differently than most people. Be weird if that's who you are because holding back only affects you, really. They've been great and I wish them the best on their next journey. Safe travels!

Although, even though I was close to some of my extended family, I still lived on my own and experienced becoming my own person without the pressure of fitting into someone preconceived notion of who I SHOULD become in this world. I was able to explore multiple paths and ways to live my life in an attempt to see what fits me rather than what others think should fit me.

I expanded my worldview through travel, student and professor interactions, and just general exposure to a bigger world than just the here and now in the Berkeley community. Im not saying that living in the present is bad, but make sure you're working towards a bigger plan in the log run. I worked with people who made me a better coworker, daughter, friend, and person. I was challenged daily and given ample opportunity to succeed.

Life's been hard and money's been tight, but I've gained so much from this experience..

I learned how to work with others coming from different backgrounds and/or views toward a common solution that works for everyone. I learned how to let go when its just too stressful to hold on. I learned how to say goodbye gracefully and how to hold on for all its worth. I discovered how to be angry with someone without it seeping into everything else and how to forgive when I just cannot keep being angry. I learned how to disagree and how to compromise. I learned how to interact with disagreeable people with respect. I learned how to love people when just liking them is difficult, how to accept people for what they are at face value and not try so hard to mold them into what they aren't, when to give no quarter and when to give it all you've got. And best of all, I learned how to love without holding back, how to give without expecting anything in return, and how to be enjoy life for all its aspects.

Don't ever forget how to let go and have fun LIVING life. Don't let yourself get caught up in all the bullshit that happens. Its truly not worth it...

Much love. I plan on infusing this life with love... <3 <3 <3

Happiness abounds

Where do I even begin? It's been so long, and so much has happened since my last post. Over a year and a half a lot can change, for better or worse. The big highlights in my life since October 2012 (my last post) are:

1. I've graduated college and have received a Bachelor's of Science. I'm a Cal grad! Go Bears!
2. I'm in a very committed relationship to a wonderfully caring man. He's foreign and has a super sexy accent... :D
3. I'm potentially going to graduate school in September to get a Master's of Science in Animal Behaviour and Welfare.
4. The school is abroad, so I get to live my dream of living in Europe somewhere for awhile.
5. I have finally purchased a one way ticket!
6. I interned at an animal shelter internationally.
7. I lived in Dublin, Ireland for a summer, and then travelled to 6 different countries in 8 days.
8. My boyfriend travelled over 5000 miles and registered for classes so he could spend the summer with me. Now, if you knew him well, you'd realize just how big a deal it really is for us.
9. My dad came back from his tours abroad and made it to my graduation.
10. My grandparents also came out for my graduation.
11. I will be going to visit one great-grandma in August and then the other in September.
12. My little sister is coming to visit!

There's probably a lot of other really great things that have happened, but we'll stick with these for now.

I'm just so much happier lately than I have been in a very long time. It's so much easier to relax nowadays and I'm loving life!