You know how the saying goes about how people are generally good? Yeah well, talking to my sister awhile ago I realized that some people are just inherently shitty.... There are some people that you should just keep at a distance until they are capable of being treated the way you deserve. And while some of them cannot be kept out of your life completely because of familial ties and whatnot, that doesn't mean you have to interact with them more than necessary. Sometimes forcing the interactions just makes the relationship volatile. Just take things as they come and deal with what you can. If things get too overwhelming, then you have every right to step away until you feel like you can handle them again. Or even just leave them behind.
Children involved in divorces and separations usually wind up with a warped view of the world. They are so hurt by the things happening around them caused by their parents that they either retreat into themselves to save them from getting unnecessarily hurt or they lash out at everyone they perceive as a threat to their well-being. The problem with this is they don't always see things for what they are (I was definitely a victim of this for a very long time) because they are trying so hard to save themselves from pain that they are blinded to everything. I found that being less exposed to one parent can really change the way you see them, whether or not it's their fault. If they want to try to have a relationship, they should at least be afforded the opportunity, as long as the child is not in any danger (physically, emotionally, or mentally). However, once given the opportunity, they should not be allowed to walk all over the child just because they are Parent. I know that sometimes cutting off contact is the only way to get someone to realize they are not respecting you the way they should.
Children involved in divorces and separations usually wind up with a warped view of the world. They are so hurt by the things happening around them caused by their parents that they either retreat into themselves to save them from getting unnecessarily hurt or they lash out at everyone they perceive as a threat to their well-being. The problem with this is they don't always see things for what they are (I was definitely a victim of this for a very long time) because they are trying so hard to save themselves from pain that they are blinded to everything. I found that being less exposed to one parent can really change the way you see them, whether or not it's their fault. If they want to try to have a relationship, they should at least be afforded the opportunity, as long as the child is not in any danger (physically, emotionally, or mentally). However, once given the opportunity, they should not be allowed to walk all over the child just because they are Parent. I know that sometimes cutting off contact is the only way to get someone to realize they are not respecting you the way they should.
Some days it amazes me how one person can infect so many others with lies and hatred. I don't see how that's any way to live a happy life. I just can't quite grasp how some parents are able to rationalize the way they treat their children. But then again, maybe they just don't get it. I just know that I refuse to let myself get caught up in that warp because I don't want to be like that. Be true to yourself and do your best to not hurt others. If you know you are/were wrong, then at least know how to apologize, but do not let yourself get trampled in the process. There's a difference in apologizing because you're wrong and letting people run over you just to keep the relationship intact. There are times you just have to let things go because they aren't worth your well-being. People will either love you or not and if they aren't helping the relationship then maybe it's time to step away until they learn to appreciate you.
I guess I'm lucky in the way I've been privy to so many lifestyles and been exposed long enough that I've gotten to see how it all works out. I know exactly how I don't want to be in life, but that only narrows my choices to a few I won't choose. It doesn't really help me decide who I want to be in life. Although, avoiding who I don't want to be kinda helps me be the person I'd like to be in a roundabout kind of way. I just know that I want to be a good person, whatever that takes.
You know, I try really hard to be kind to everyone and like people for who they are, but some people make it really damn hard.... I'm a fiercely loyal person (I think that's something I get from the Ritter side of my family), so I really hate when people mess with my family and friends. It really bothers me when you do something just to hurt them. I also hate lying, so when I get asked a question it's really hard to not be super blunt about how I feel. Another thing, it's really unnecessary to the way I live. If I'm doing something I feel the need to hide, I probably just wouldn't bring it up, or I wouldn't do it in the first place....
Something people need to remember is that kids are sensitive to what is said about their parents. They are part of them and will be for their entire lives. Hell, I still get hurt by things said about my parents and I'm an adult... So try not to tell that kid you're talking to that his mom is such and such or her dad's a so and so.. Love the kid for who he or she is, don't judge because of the parents...
Something people need to remember is that kids are sensitive to what is said about their parents. They are part of them and will be for their entire lives. Hell, I still get hurt by things said about my parents and I'm an adult... So try not to tell that kid you're talking to that his mom is such and such or her dad's a so and so.. Love the kid for who he or she is, don't judge because of the parents...
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